I just deleted my plurk account today. It hurts a lot since plurk has been my outlet to whatever it is that I feel. Its just sad that other people just don't understand me and my plurks and reacted to whatever it is that I plurk. I hate it but I cant control them because its a public networking services. Anyways I could create a new account, just for me to have freedom to express myself. But not for now. One thing is for sure though I will now pick people to be in my time line. I shall missed plurking.

Last night I took a walk in the snow.
Couples holding hands, places to go
Seems like everyone but me is in love.

Santa can you hear me
I signed my letter that I sealed with a kiss
I sent it off
It just said this
I know exactly what I want this year.
Santa can you hear me.
I want my baby (baby, yeah)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me.
Maybe (maybe, maybe maybe.) he'll be all my own in a big red bow

Santa can you hear me?
I have been so good this year and all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want, just for me underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here.
Santa thats my only wish this year.
oohhh... ohh.. yeah
Christmas Eve I just can't sleep
Would I be wrong for taking a peek?
Cause I heard that your coming to town

Santa can you hear me? (yea yeah)
Really hope that your on your way
With something special for me in your sleigh
Ohh, please make my wish come true
Santa can you hear me
I want my baby (baby)
I want someone to love me someone to hold me
Maybe (maybe maybe) we'll be all the love under the mistletoe

Santa can you hear me
I have been so good this year
And all I want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here Santa thats my only wish this year
I hope my letter reaches you in time
Bring me love can call all mine
(yeah yeah) cause I have been so good this year.

Can't be alone under the mistletoe
He's all want and a big red bow
Santa can you hear me (hear me?)
I have been so good this year
And all i want is one thing
Tell me my true love is near
He's all I want. just for me
Underneath my Christmas tree
I'll be waiting here (ohh, yeah) Santa thats my only wish this year
Oh Santa can u hear me? oh Santa
Well hes all I want just for me underneath my Christmas tree
Oh I'll be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year.

my only wish this year mp3 | lyrics

Last night Janlac and I had a crazy food trip. We headed to Limketkai since she craved for siomai and me for cake. we drop at Limketkai but it was already closed. We actually taught there is a midnight sale but instead it was Robinsons who was having a midnight sale. So we bought siomai there and a Crema de fruta from Cecil's.

We were really laughing because we bought so much food and we haven't even finished everything since we're already feeling very full. It was one awesome night of girl bonding and sharing of everything including Janlac's passion to spicy sauces. OMG! My mouth was really in heat trying that spicy sauce in my pizza. I just realized that even if Janlac and I have different taste and likes we still manage to compliment with each other. The difference was never an issue for us to be closer with each other. :)

"Its Ok!" "It will pass...." "You'll be fine..." "Just smile..." "Think positive..." Sometimes no matter how many comforting words said to you by your friends its still don't ease the pain and confusion. Problems drag us down and break us even if we tried so hard to keep on track and solve it. Negativity. The most powerful energy that I've tried so hard not to get caught up with. But its still in just one touch it breaks everything that I built. I've always been trying to stay positive. To always look on the brighter and lighter side of everything. But now everything seems to be blurry. Maybe because I kept everything inside. And little by little it grows up inside me that I couldn't take it anymore. Too bad negative energy catch me easily. I maybe vocal to everyone but when it comes to serious matters, pains and problems I kept it inside. I used to pour this out but now the one person who use to patiently listen to me is already far. I'm so tired of crying . My tears has been my avid comforter ever since. If only I'm not afraid to die I would have killed myself already. I actually tried this many times yet its unsuccessful. Its hard just to let everything out because I don't know if they will understand me. Ive been to so many things in my life. So many mistakes. So many heartaches and pains. So many sins. And behind all this battle I fought alone. Its hard but I had no choice, its do or die.

I don't know if there's someone who would understand and listen to everything I would tell. Its been a long, unhappy journey and I doubt it if there would be someone who can endure it. And in the end comforts me with a hug and wipe my tears. I don't know where, I don't know when and I don't know where... But one things for sure I need some one who will see me as I AM not for who I have and don't have.

As I was checking my old stuffs that I kept in a box I saw this letter that Teddy Bear gave to me. It was a simple Christmas letter with a message and poem attached in it. The poem is written by Teddy Bear (Cecilia Cagape) dedicated to Tweety (Marie Ann Amarille) and Bugs Bunny (me) dated December 17, 1999.

Bestfriends

Friends are so wonderful
They makes my day beautiful
When I'm lonely...
They are there to comfort me.

They are special
They are not artificial
But best friends are more special
Because they makes my life more normal.

Whenever I feel sad
They will not make me feel bad
Instead, they find a way
to make me feel not dismay.

Even we made our self cry
We still do the best we
We try and hoping not to fight
Because we're afraid to lose our friendship like a candle light.

They are always there
Ready to help me so desr
They take away my loneliness
And pour my heart with happiness.

In them, I found the real meaning of a true friendship
It is more than a relationship
Which no one can break, even a spaceship.

Because of them, My life seems enjoyable
Without them, It would be questionable
So Thank you Lord for Having them
As my wonderful Bestfriends.