Being a single mom and trying my best to provide a good life for my family, I often have things neglected while fulfilling my responsibilities. One of the most I'm guilty of is that... Did I help my son mentally? Am I checking on how he feels and what he struggles with? I do know how he is doing but I don't check on the deeper thoughts that he has.

 
Thankfully, I have established my relationship with him previously that we have these conversations.
Back when he was around 9 years old he experienced bullying that he tried to hide from me, I discovered it when he asked if he can transfer school. So I talk to him and encourage him to never be afraid to say everything to me. Since then, I encourage him to open up to me by asking him what happened at school every time he arrives from school. Even if sometimes it's boring and redundant, I still listen. Until eventually, he gets into it and doesn't wait for me to ask. Every time he arrived from school he opens up everything including his frustrations and problem. And then as he grows he opens up everything besides school-related happenings.

 
And on his 13th birthday, I talked to him and told him, "I know teenager life will be hard. It's full of insecurities and questions that don't make sense, but always know that the same rule applies; Talk to me. Open up to me. I may not have all the answers. I may not know the solutions but I will be here to listen and share my thoughts when you need it and if I have one. I may be lost track of you and don't listen to you but please don't be afraid to remind me that you just need someone to listen and understand you. Because teenage life and puberty mix together can sometimes hard to handle but with someone to support you, you'll get by."

 
So back to our conversation earlier...
We talked and shared a lot of things. And towards the end of the conversation, he said... "You know what you're like my therapist!" I responded, "Yes, I am your therapist today, and whenever you'll need one. I hope I was able to help you with things that are bothering you."

I didn't get to finish the things that supposed to be on my agenda today, but I am glad that I was able to have a conversation with my son and he opens up to me.

Today I woke up to a breakfast in bed prepared by my son!  He cooked me a pancake that he made on his own from the recipe that he research online. 😍

Now I know why I am banned from entering his room a few days ago because he was working on these artworks that he gifted me.
So he explained each of his gifts...

  

 

I didn't miss the chance to also make the women in my life feel special this Mother's day... 

I initially plan to have everything ordered and then have them delivered via Streetby On-Demand Services... However, I just realized it has been almost 2 months I haven't seen these 3 mommies, that has been my core support, because of the pandemic. So I booked a taxi and decided to surprise them with a gift and have a glimpse of them. 

I tag along with Justine because he begged to see his grandma, whom he missed so much.

 

Didn't get the chance to take a picture of Risa because her sister pick-up the gift instead but I was able to see a glimpse of her and she waved at us through the window. It's literally a glimpse because her house is on the 5th floor. 

I almost thought that we will skip bestie Dee's surprise because no visitors were allowed in their subdivision and it took her long to answer my call. (The epic thrill of surprises. 😅) Good thing Justine was with me because he has a contact number of Wawa (Dee's niece). Whew! 😅

 

Thankfully my surprise was all worth it and success! Sadly, we can only give invisible hugs and kisses.😔

Every year this day would never pass without a celebration, may it be a big party or just a family get together. This is because 2 of the most wonderful person in the family celebrated another year of existence; Mama Susan and Manang Susie. They are special to me since I grow up with them along with 2 sister (Manang Nike and Maechell) and my uncle Papa Ading. They treated me (and my mom) as a member of the family; as a daughter and as a sibling. So for both of them heres my birthday message to Mama Susan and Manang Susie...

In our house I play 3 rules; daughter,mother and provider. It was never easy playing this rules at the same time especially when situation calls that I have to choose which come first in this rules. Good thing that life has already experiences that help me play this rules with much needed strength and confidence. There have been many times Ive fallen without anyone who catches me, picked me and comforted me.

As a daughter, it was never easy catching up with a 52 year old single-maiden-mom. Since I was a child Ive always wish my mom and I bond like the Gilmore Girls do but sad to say we never did. Though I still believe that its never to late for everything. I just need to arranged my life now because I feel that as long as long as I'm not stable and living in comfort we wont be closer. My mom never got married or never ever had any serious relationship (haven't seen some guy visiting her everyday so maybe none!) again as I grow up. I don't know why but I think its one of the major issue why she constantly got some mood swings and just got mad at times over small problems or things. Ive been trying hard to understand her by doing everything to provide her the comforts of living but it still not enough. And sometimes it would reach to the point that I have to just let her be, if she is mad then that's it! Because I don't just play as her daughter all the time, I still have 2 rules to that needs me too.


As a mother, Being a single mom is never easy because you will need to play 2 rules; a mother and a father to my son. Oh! I should have said 4 rules... (chuckle) Anyways, raising a child is crucial since what you teach and what he learn came from how you raise him to be. And now my major problem is a father-figure for my son since there is only mom and I in the house he tends to imitates some feminine ways. I'm really hoping to remedy it and right now confused as to how I will do that... I don't want to just grab some guys because its not going to be a good idea having relationship just for a sake of necessity.



As a provider, well this is really tough. Its never easy earning money. It has been a major factor in living specially now that prices of commodities increased. Food, shelter, current and water bills, clothing and etc... I need to provide this for my family.