Breaking Down

"Its Ok!" "It will pass...." "You'll be fine..." "Just smile..." "Think positive..." Sometimes no matter how many comforting words said to you by your friends its still don't ease the pain and confusion. Problems drag us down and break us even if we tried so hard to keep on track and solve it. Negativity. The most powerful energy that I've tried so hard not to get caught up with. But its still in just one touch it breaks everything that I built. I've always been trying to stay positive. To always look on the brighter and lighter side of everything. But now everything seems to be blurry. Maybe because I kept everything inside. And little by little it grows up inside me that I couldn't take it anymore. Too bad negative energy catch me easily. I maybe vocal to everyone but when it comes to serious matters, pains and problems I kept it inside. I used to pour this out but now the one person who use to patiently listen to me is already far. I'm so tired of crying . My tears has been my avid comforter ever since. If only I'm not afraid to die I would have killed myself already. I actually tried this many times yet its unsuccessful. Its hard just to let everything out because I don't know if they will understand me. Ive been to so many things in my life. So many mistakes. So many heartaches and pains. So many sins. And behind all this battle I fought alone. Its hard but I had no choice, its do or die.

I don't know if there's someone who would understand and listen to everything I would tell. Its been a long, unhappy journey and I doubt it if there would be someone who can endure it. And in the end comforts me with a hug and wipe my tears. I don't know where, I don't know when and I don't know where... But one things for sure I need some one who will see me as I AM not for who I have and don't have.